I was looking for all the answers outside and kept on searching and hoping that someone would change and all would be well. I kept on looking for love, compassion and empathy and kindness from others not realizing that along this journey of dismal hope I was changing myself and continued to treat myself with pity. I allowed everything to happen to me; in some fashion I let them have power over me as I took refuge in this hurt. It is easy, as we know no better, we let them in our minds and let them take control of how we will react. When we let them in, we let them guide and change our true nature.
This is not easy to admit. I changed and I reacted and I started pitying myself saying why me, and why not more of this or that? But, then one day I didn’t have an epiphany nor did the apple fall of the tree I just stopped reacting to the angst and decided to take back control. Let me tell you it happens when it has to happen not a second before or later. There are enough exercises, motivational speakers, quotes, meditation, breathing techniques to take you to Wakanda and back but it only happens when you truly will it as you wish to change.
We all have inner strengths, and the best is when we stop searching, reading for answers outside. It is true, it all lies inside of you, what you are searching for outside, what we are seeking for is already present inside. All the saints, preachers, seers hold this to be true. The mirror holds all the answers, look clearly at the mirror and do you like what you see? If you do, well all is good, if not change the image. Work on yourself, slowly and be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself according to others and their standards, if you have failed and I have to. One should be kind to oneself, this world is a mirage that has been so hyped and accentuated by this visual imagery and fake drama and over representation by advertising gurus to a materialistic hype. Its ok to be dark, thin, fat, small, overweight, pimply, gangly, mediocre, geeky, nerdy, gay, lesbian, straight, failure, don’t be shamed into anything.
Just give yourself time and you will shine, it can be later and it can be after hibernating for years or just after winter.
In fact, one needs to find the inner strength that is always inside us, as goodness resides in all of us and we need to believe in ourselves, first and then only can we convince others to believe in us.
I know I sound like a politician and a ghisa piti one but it works. Its just like in the movie, Uri that makes me believe and I can ask you, How’s the josh?
Some may say, its filmy but we all must always believe in hope and tides do change. It is step one to believe in hope and then to just wean yourself from the black hole of the virtual world that lets you to believe in things that aren’t. Make life more simple, start doing kind acts , and step by step reclaim yourself and that old adage of walking outside and absorbing nature all hold true. If you enjoyed reading this , send me an email .