Give yourself the gift of happiness by Rameshinder Sandhu

Every February 14, we mark our love for someone. But before we love anyone, shouldn’t we love ourselves first? This love can however happen, if we keep ourselves filled with happiness –which we keep chasing so desperately throughout our lives.

Ironically, we keep finding it in the world around us despite its deep within us. Often it also oscillates around us, yet we fly it away. But surely, it can always be with us –as we want it to, if we begin reprogramming our mind in very simple ways, to help ourselves. And, reprogramming is magical, as I have begun to experience.

Firstly, value whatever you have and remember less is more. It’s the very first step, which will lead to satisfaction and with satisfaction; the feeling of joy will come naturally. If at any stage, we commence indulging in comparisons, it will instantly snatch the same joy because comparisons are odious –they will never allow us to value what we have. What we forget that everyone’s story is different, with different circumstances, hence comparing can be an act of foolishness.

When it comes to the people around us: their nature, their habits – simply accept them, the way they are. Don’t find faults in them, rather what’s good in them. After all, we all are like roses –each one of us posses both petals and thorns but most of us only focus on the thorns of others. Moreover, when we try changing anyone, we drain away all our energy and still fail to get the desired results. Above all, we shatter the warmth of our relationships and remain enveloped in anger and irritation. The lesson is –we can’t change anyone, only ourselves.

Talking of the present time, how many of us stay in the present, or say fully value it? Don’t we stay either lost in the past or in the future, forgetting our present, which usually carries the most joys. This strangeness has made us forget that the journey is as important as the destination and when we don’t enjoy the journey, happiness will continue to remain a distant dream. Who knows if we will really reach our destination, so why not at least learn to enjoy the journey?

Underlining our expectations from others, they often are the cause of our sadness as we completely throw our happiness on them. But when we don’t keep any expectations from anyone, for anything, and only have all expectations from ourselves –we rarely encounter any scenes of grief.

Just always trying to please others is another oddity we indulge in as when we are lost in the world of pleasing, it again sprouts expectations in us. Shouldn’t we please ourselves first before pleasing others? How can we spread happiness till we are not happy?

And of course, following your own heart, mind and soul instead of following any blind race also makes such a huge difference, because our very own soul keeps talking to us. The more we listen, the better. If it’s content, we will be content too.

Oh, how could I forget the money making races of ours? If money was everything, why the super rich too stay depressed? There was a reason why we were taught in childhood, ‘money can buy a bed, not sleep. Medicine, not health …’

Coming back to the virtue of value –we should rather value everything that comes our way –be it hard times, difficult people as every situation in life ends up teaching us. In other words, we eventually gain too. Most importantly, whatever the situation –however hard or toxic–the choice of reaction remains in our very own hand.

I am reminded of what I recently read somewhere, “Happy people are not always happy because everything is right in their life. They are happy because their attitude towards everything is right.” And happiness is the most important medicine we need in life, with which life becomes such a joyful and such a light ride. So, why not give ourselves – ‘happiness forever’ –a gift above all.

Even on deaths, besides nature, what is remembered by all is ‘did the deceased lead a happy or unhappy life?’ Because happiness is all that matters –we may have everything but we aren’t happy –we have nothing!