With a zest for life, Celebrity Life coach Anamika Yaduvanshi follows the mantra of living each moment to the fullest. Passionate for bringing the drive for success and committed to enhancing positive attitude in others, Anamika brings a potent but rare combination of creativity and analytical thinking to her speaking engagements as a Motivational Trainer and Counselor. With the purpose of helping others in finding true happiness and essence of life, she tries to guide as many people as possible on how to achieve their goals and find their path in life. She talks to us on how to resolve conflicts with your partner- getting on the same page without getting into fights, learning to communicate.
It is absolutely ok to have a conflict in a relationship. What is important is that you resolve it with grace and sensitivity. The common goal should be to make the relationship beautiful and supportive. These are some tips to learn to communicate with your partner when you are addressing a conflict.
Be a good listener
Listening is more than just hearing. To truly listen, you must give your full attention and put your judgments and thoughts aside on the subject. It may sound easy but believe me its a tough skill to practice as, usually, we listen to answer rather than understanding other person’s viewpoint on the subject however if we start listening, half the issue gets resolved as partner gets undivided attention so a subtle message is conveyed that you are aware of the gravity of the subject. Also, listening gives clarity on your partner’s opinion on the subject.
Analyze the situation
Try to see what is the subject of the conflict as to kill a demon, you have to know the demon well. At times, the main subject gets buried in heated arguments so the main conflict is forgotten and the arguments becomes like a war to be won, come what may. So, try to analyze the situation rationally, thinking of the various ways to resolve it. What could be win win situation for both. Focus on the root cause of the conflict.
Keep the Ego aside
Getting control of your ego is the best gift for any relationship as when ego sits in between, nothing works out. So, its very important to accept your mistakes and communicate apology. Even while addressing a conflict, one needs to understand it is not about them in person, it is actually about the issue which needs to get resolved. Separating the person from the conflict is important.
Choose a right time to talk
I know that the issue is important and you want to jump into communication at the first opportunity you see your partner but if your spouse has just come back from work or in stress for some other reason, the communication is not going to be fruitful. So, have patience and choose a right time and place to discuss the issue.
If you share a relationship, keeping it alive, healthy and lovable is a common goal. Similarly other people, work and other subjects can also be divided and converted into a common goal like in case of conflict, what are the different possibilities of resolving it and what is in the best interest of the relationship should be taken into consideration.
Agree to disagree
People think differently and its unreal to expect that two perspectives would be absolutely alike. Respecting other person’s view point without holding them responsible for not agreeing could be an important key to resolve big issues. There is a scope of emotional growth for both the partners when they start respecting disagreement zones. It allows a fresh perspective to look at things. If your partner disagrees with your viewpoint, try to see his and if you still find that your partner’s viewpoint isn’t workable, try convincing him yours. The whole point is try respectfully and allow a place of disagreement gracefully.