When Motivation Does Not Work: Amy Goldberg

When Motivation Doesn't Work

What happens when you’re feeling so demotivated that no amount of logic, positive thinking or external support can quell the pain. You either have to succumb or find a way to get past it.

There’s nothing in between. Or is there?

As an inspirational speaker and life strategist, I recognize that I need to ‘meet people where they are at.’ Why? Because no amount of insight or wisdom that I impart will benefit you when you’re not interested in hearing it. You’re not hearing it because you’re not in the right mindset to receive what I’m saying.

Motivation can be depleted by a number of things. For one, the feeling of rejection can change your behaviour. When you get rejected, you lose your desire to try because it seems as though nobody would care either way. Typically, this isn’t the case, and yet when you’re rejected by one person, it feels as if you’ve been rejected by everyone. Or at least that’s what it feels like.

Rejection also tends to obliterate self-control. You’ll overindulge, self-sabotage, soothe your rejected soul. That could mean shopping, overeating, saying yes to things you know aren’t good for you. 

Another way of depleting your motivation is when you have too much on your mind. Too many decisions to make. Did you know that you make 35,000 decisions a day? A Day!!! That’s crazy. No wonder you’re exhausted.

Decision fatigue can lead to eventually looking for shortcuts as well as being short on patience with friends, family members and colleagues. Your brain is tired. All it wants to do is rest.

If you don’t start to manage the number of choices that you make in a day, you’ll find yourself repeating (over and over again) poor habits of overindulging.

So, what can you do to feel motivated?

Shift your mindset. Take action.

In the case of rejection, find ways to either face it head on or walk away. It could be something you may be doing that’s caused the rejection, and therefore you need to discuss it to find out why. Other times it has nothing to do with you and therefore remove yourself from the situation. 

When demotivated, you tend not to take care of yourself. First, pinpoint the problem. What’s going on? Are you stuck? Why? Once you’ve determined why, take one step toward action. Do something that gets you from deciding (not-deciding in a lot of cases) to doing. Make it a priority. You’ll start to see a shift in your mindset by taking action. No, it’s not easy. Do it anyway.

When you need to get your brain in check start to list the decisions you foresee you need to make in a given day. The rest let it go. Sure, they’ll be unknown decisions that you’ll need to make on the fly, and yet plan for the main ones. This way you won’t feel overwhelmed. Manage what you can. In many cases, there are decisions that you ‘feel’ you want to make, and yet they could easily be made by others. Try and leave your ego out of it.

Lastly, when you’re feeling that you just can’t seem to pick yourself up, you have no motivation to do anything …. do ONE THING, anyway. Figure out that ‘one thing’ that you like (use to like) doing. And do it. Move into action. It’s the only way you’ll break the habit of feeling demotivated.

Try. Just try. Soon you’ll see that you’ll be trying a lot more.

Trying = Action.

You’ve got this! Let me know how it works.

Amy Goldberg