Conversations with Biji

Why the name Biji? I don’t know it just stuck when my classmates started calling me this , maybe because I am an old soul and love talking about old fashioned stuff ,like religion or spirituality or feel that the era gone by was better where we still valued ethics, morals , traditions and also maybe that I have this side where I value Babaji or God more than anything else.  I started talking first on Spotify and then on Instagram and reaching out to people has been a blessing since a year. 

We all are at crossroads trying to live in this mad paced world where we are trying to keep up appearances and are caught up with the pretentiousness of a world that is projected . The damage that is done to our psyche because of what a perfect man or a perfect woman should be or how we should be because of the image that is broadcasted on billboards , social media and is presented as a false outlook to life.

Everyday , our accounts because remember we are so attached to our phone that is a third arm , that we get images how we should be ; perfect skin , perfect ass , perfect body , perfect hair, and how we should fit into a perfect mood .

Why are we never told that we are fine the way we are? We are given sermons to be just the way we are ; but with such a white lie and a rider that we should fit into the mould that society , our parents , spouse, siblings , friends want us to be. Try showing a spine , try telling them no , try telling them you wont do this or try telling them that you want your space, you are most likely to be told you’re difficult , stubborn , egotistical ,or are having your periods or having pms or are frigid. 

They have all terms for us , but none will try to understand you. It’s like you know that advertisement where they are trying to sell stocks and shares but a small line says at the bottom : subject to market conditions . 

The market conditions is what we are facing, many times I am considered ancient , old and not fashionable because I don’t drink , my favorite poison is coffee or water . I wear clothes that are me ,  a salwar suit and a chunni that isn’t taken in the right way . My hair isn’t streaked or all over r the place or isn’t cut Ina way that is flattering its tighter than a hangman’s noose and then the pressures to have a perfect skin. 

How about we start admitting t ourselves that its ok to be not ok? It’s ok to be just the way you are, all shades of chai and coffee and we make the best mix.

As a young child , boys and girls unknowingly , subconsciously hear about their color, they hear about the nose , the hair and that permeates into their minds and they start believing that if they were a certain color or had straighter hair they would be liked , loved. Appreciated more.

Isn’t that the universal dilemma ? We all want universal approval because that is what we all desire and need ; a certain shabaashi to  cater to all  , to be the cynosure of every eye . Even people who say no they don’t run after this , have a reverse psychology at  play .

Our mind forever wants to be appreciated , and the physical aspect is the easiest way . Here the mad race to be perfect comes in , sardar men cut their hair because they aren’t fashionable or physically appealing  to women , hence they would cut their hair but tie the turban because it looks more royal! The beard is trimmed in certain way , we all stand guilty of this ,  I am merely speaking it aloud.

Next time , you comment on someone remember the damage your negative comment can do .

We all want this quick 21 day result oriented life where we can get a newer body , tighter skin , perfect everything . A short cut to everything but this all takes work , hard work.Being born takes 9 months so what is the hurry in this change, be kinder to yourself is my mantra .No one is going to be kind, no one is going to give you the place , no one is going to bother . Just re affirm , tell yourself its ok if you’re abit over weight you’ve born the ravages of time , you’ve given birth , nurtured a baby , don’t be  in a rush . This is for women as society is more cruel , unforgiving to us , heaven forbid you don’t wish to color your hair , or have some extra fat .. why is the onus on us ? Don’t men wish to be healthy or is it acceptable to have a beer gut and a paunch just because?

Please get up in the morning and hug yourself tight , be kind to yourself , tell yourself , repeat that you’re perfect in the way you are , and you’ve got all this figured out and if the game plan eludes you , lets try that tomorrow . There isn’t a rush , a deadline , we all have our different paths , some achieve it early some 5 years  later , some don’t . It’s ok , you know what bothers one the most , its the voice in the head . The one that creeps in , nudges , disturbs and makes you question everything and makes you doubt yourself . It’s like in the darkest of the hours , or the wee hours of the morning it will nudge and start whispering in your ear , and then we start to lose our confidence . You will say you’re confident and you’ve got it all figured but sometimes being smug is also the downfall .  Many a times, a false bravado, makes us want to cover up everything because facing what we really feel is peeling away to many layers and its better to just have the perfect exterior .

Trust me , if its last thing you’d read here , its ok to share , to voice the small doubt or the mountains you’re carrying alone. That is why the word Biji came by and when we talk and talk aloud we must tings get better .