Interestingly, it all started for me when I became acutely aware that perhaps I was holding myself back. I realized that I needed to step away from myself. Why was that, I wondered?
I knew, as human beings, we are our own worst critics. We tend to look around ourselves rather than tap into who we are. It’s easier that way. We tend to play it “safe.”
As I considered how I was feeling, I realized that I needed to face my real self, the self that sometimes hid behind the self-assured, openly enthusiastic, action-driven person that I appeared to be.
Why did I feel I needed to dive in and reassess where I was at? What I was doing, and how was I feeling? What triggered my need for a revised look?
Could it be that my self-diagnosed “deflectoritis” was getting the better of me?
“One who when asked a personal question, follows it up with another question so as to not have to answer the initial question.”
Speaking of which, reluctantly, it appeared, not so long ago, that I had been at a cross road in my life. Not knowing exactly what my next move would be, or where it would take me.
My childhood, not unlike millions of others, was a confusing time for me. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, or where my future was headed. When your young you think you need to have it all figured out. Happily, I now know that’s not true.
There were certainly things in which I was determined to do. And I did them.
I started my first business while I was going to
school; travelled around the world for 2 ½ years and came back to start another
business; honed my skills as a writer, producer, artist, entrepreneur, and
wellness professional – all the while seeing where the dots connected in my
One thing was for sure, and I knew this at a very young age; I hungered for anything creative.
When I was a kid, people would ask me what I liked to do, and I said; “Anything creative!” They’d then ask; “What, exactly?” I didn’t know. I only knew that I had to express myself creatively.
And then, of course, being a hyper kid, I needed to feed my passion for all things health & fitness related – and not only for myself, I needed to help others – bug was more like it.
I wanted to motivate people to move more, to rethink their behavior in a way that would prove healthful to them.
Early on in my life, I navigated two worlds – entertainment and healthcare. I read scripts at night and delivered healthcare prevention strategies by day. My brain was wired.
I think the need for me to do so many things, where I felt pulled in so many directions, was my way of “trying” everything and anything to see what would stick.
Upon reflection and deeper soul searching, I am, for the most part, able to get off the hamster wheel and better define what it is I need and want to be doing.
The wisdom that I’ve gathered from others, and the many experiences that I’ve had (continue to have) have really allowed me to hone, and perhaps reaffirm that; “Hey, I’m on the right path.”
I was never really lost; although “feeling” as if you’re lost is just as tough as actually being lost.
There are many moments in one’s life where you need outside support from someone or something that can offer you the gift of validation and/or kind honesty. I find this most helpful when you know the path you want to take. This happens when you embrace the idea that “you’re ready.”
What I’m suggesting is that you trust and believe in yourself and your abilities. Stop and take a good look inside yourself for what is true for you. Try things. Experience as much as you can.
And know that You’ve Got This.