Men=Macho;Women= Feminine;
Why do we need to stereotype the genders this way?
While this may hold true based on how both genders are created by nature, it cannot be generalised!
Before you believe this article is about men vs. women, let me tell you, it is not.
For a change, it’s about the unsung, unheard, and unspoken heroes in each of our lives—our men, who are unfairly burdened with societal expectations that are often unjust and unreasonable!
Nowadays, women’s empowerment and awareness drives are widespread, but some men deserve to be highly regarded and spoken of!
While women can easily express their feelings by speaking, venting out, or crying, men are always expected to appear strong. These expectations can lead to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, which are often overlooked in men due to the societal pressure to appear strong.
Not only that, our society has also stereotyped crying as a weakness, and since men are born strong (at least physically), they apparently cannot cry!
And if they ever do, they are given snide remarks such as ~
‘Don’t cry like a woman’
‘Men don’t cry; only women do.’
‘Be a macho yaar; crying is a girl’s job.’
Such remarks are not only disrespectful but also hurtful.
One more thing that a man (typically from a patriarchal household) expects the other man to do is – be a malechauvinist. In simple terms, it means to dominate one’s wife, mother, sister(s), daughter(s), or any other woman. Such men also want all other men to run (read: rule) their homes with the highest possible levels of patriarchy.
It is a highly incorrect practice, and the very few men who go out of the way are discouraged from doing so. They are even considered spineless.
Why is such dominance required in the first place?
Which rule book says that men need to dominate women or only men can make all the decisions in the house?
What if a man is more than happy if the woman leads and runs the house or/and takes all the pivotal decisions?
And please do not be under the impression that in our highly male-dominated and patriarchal society, such men do not exist. They very much exist!
I know many such men born with gentle souls and respect their ladies just like a gentleman must.
So, this practice of dominating and influencing those who do not dominate must stop! Change is not just needed; it is urgent here, and each one of us has the power to contribute to this change.
Another thing that one man expects another one to do is indulge in intoxication, especially alcohol. According to such men, not getting intoxicated is a sin.
Why can’t they understand that it is a personal choice?
Instead of respecting it, the guys of the so-called ‘drinking club’ force the other guys, who they believe to be non-macho, to get drunk.
And if they don’t, these drinking club guys take it upon themselves, as if a Roadies task, that they will make the other guy drink no matter what!
Excuse me? But this needs to be corrected.
Forcing someone into a bad habit is terrible. Even worse is when, at workplaces or community meets, these non-drinking guys are left out because they do not fulfil the expectations of the drinking club guys.
In the first place, all these practices are incorrect. And the very few men who are out of the league are also expected to, instead, forced to do so.
I want to quote – the famous American author Bell Hooks – to help you understand the gravity of the situation and its impact on the few gentle male souls that remain.
“To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being.
When we love maleness, we extend our love whether males are performing or not. Performance is different from simply being.
In patriarchal culture, males are not allowed to be who they are and to glory in their unique identity. Their value is always determined by what they do.
In an anti-patriarchal culture, males do not have to prove their value and worth. They know from birth that simply being gives them value, the right to be cherished and loved.”
I strongly hope everyone, regardless of their gender, imbibes the above in themselves and begins loving their men instead of expecting them to be macho all the time.
Together, let us strive for a more understanding and empathetic society that values men for who they are and not just what they do!
About
I am a Chartered Accountant by profession and a Writer by passion!
As a nerdy student, I read every book I found throughout my academic years. My love for reading multiplied as I grew up, inspiring me to write. Over the years, writing became my way of expressing raw emotions and letting my inner child heal. I observe ordinary things by seeing beyond their original form and weaving those observations into words.
Pen and paper have always been my dearest companions, for my heart finds solace in their gentle rhythm. They bring my innermost feelings to life while also fueling my creativity. While my poems are to evoke feelings buried deep inside, my stories and articles focus on social issues, defying societal norms and breaking stereotypes.