Being Single: Still Without Nuptial Jingle by Dr Pritika Gonsalves

Being Single

Mumbai is known as ‘the city that doesn’t sleep.’ Seriously, this statement is so apt it doesn’t and can give sleepless nights to people around.  What does this statement mean? So,  let me tell you, this city is busy, but when the people over here come to know that people around them are single. They can cause a ruckus in their lives with their over the top concern, unsolicited advice, over the top suggestions etc. I will throw some light on the mentality of the city, I live that is Mumbai. We live in 21st century, Mumbai, but still people get so upset when they come to know that a particular person is single. Why can’t these so called educated people mind their own business? They should know that life doesn’t work on their free advice and those theories. You know the singles who have been through this know very well the sufferings they go through mentally by the society who has certain thumb rules that you need to marry by a certain age.

Independent singles: Blessing or curse

“Your 20+ year old daughter is not married” or ” Oh! You having 50 thousand rupees salary but what’s the use? You don’t have a family to look after or ” Your son is still a bachelor? Is he having some problems?” Have you people come across these questions? Why can’t these people bother about their kids and their lives. So,  what if daughter is 20+, but she has got more laurels then you could achieved when you were her age. What’s the meaning of you are earning so much but you don’t have family?  Hello, one’s parents also our family and one needs that salary to maintain a lifestyle.  Yes, that person’s son has problems, and you come and rectify it. Why can’t people in Mumbai digest the fact that people will remain single if, they want to be single. You are married so,  be happy. Why do you want to take a broom and clean other people’s life. Today, be it a male or a female they are single by choice,  they are earning well, they are independent and they know to survive. In fact, when it comes to marriage they don’t want to take the plunge so early. They have certain dreams and want to accomplish them. Today, singles can survive far better than married couples. But these people around eat the brains of the single people and their families too. Is life an age checklist? What’s wrong with people? Singles are independent which consists of a great lifestyle. Lifestyle consists of having holidays, having their own abode, having their own four wheelers or two wheelers and so on. What’s poking other people’s eyes?

Old adage: Biological clock is ticking

Some of the people in Mumbai start with some biology lessons too. That you should get married by 25 years otherwise, you will have problems with kids in future. But what is people’s problem? Are you going to look after those problematic kids?  No, right then leave them alone. They will tell those singles, you know your child will have mental problems, you will have high blood pressure while delivering the kid, you will have to go through Caesarean and so on. I remember one of the girl told one lady who was giving biological lessons to her that you know what I will be adopting kids and if I get kids biological  and they have mental problems don’t worry my friend is a mental health professional. I busted out laughing at her this answer. Seriously, have you people not heard about test tube babies, adoptions and so on. It’s their life and, let them live it on their own terms. There are so many people who are freezing their eggs, having IVF’s done, surrogacy and so on. In olden days, these new scientific advancement were not there and they weren’t so educated but now everything has changed, but these people live in the old era.

Creation of mental problems among singles

Due to all this, singles are suffering more mentally. I remember an unmarried person came to me and mentioned I am stressed. I asked her why. She mentioned I have everything all the luxurious of life, good income, awesome parents, superb job, and also annoying relatives and neighbours. She mentioned these relatives and neighbours chew my parents and my brains on daily basis, the topic being that she is single. She mentioned my parents give an apt reply but I keep quiet as those people are elder than me. But now all this has taken a toll on me. I get irritated fast, nightmares, loss of appetite and so on. She was so fed up. I mentioned to her, that she has to be assertive and give a reply. As this is her choice and her life. Her life will have her rules. I mentioned you are keeping everything within and this causing a lot of problems. But your parents are giving them reply and that’s a good way to deal with it. She mentioned my parents tell don’t pay attention to those nonsense talks. After I told her,  to give a good reply. That girl did that and she called me to tell that she is giving replies to those people and she is not having those problems that she came to me for counselling. I feel even single men would relate to thIs girl who came to me. Single girls and boys do things you like. Don’t go into something because society is forcing you. It’s your life after, all and you shouldn’t regret later.