Married Roommates – Manali Debroy

Single, independent and successful – this is quite reasonably the definition of a millennial, these days. We study hard for almost the first twenty to twenty-five years of our lives and then land our dream jobs to accomplish our dreams. Friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, and one-offs – we meet so many different kinds of people – but are bound by only our inner circle. And in that inner circle, the core forms our partner, who lives and shares everything with you twenty-four hours a day. Ever wondered what it is like to marry your best friend, who knows you the best? Today, I am exploring this particular topic because from my experience every day, it is essentially similar to being Married Roommates.

We meet so many people, but there is only one person whom you give your heart. While, some go for the unknowns – marriages in India are commonly arranged, where two people are brought together by their family. But this culture is evolving and changing with people choosing their life partners themselves, also referred to as love marriage. Two people know each other very well, have an intimate connection, and that’s it, they decide to get married. Why? It’s simple – you do not have to spend a year or two to break the ice and neither half a decade to know the person.

Millennials take time to know each other, live in for some time and if the compatibility works, they marry. In this modern world, it is common that both the partners share equal responsibility. Women are working as much as men, and hence, it becomes a matter of understanding rather than a principle. In such a scenario, you practically live with a roommate who is compatible, charming, happy and mad as well, but mostly very understanding.

If these are not the combinations, it is almost certain that the marriage hangs somewhere in the middle of understanding and ego. Imagine a situation where you and your partner are both working very hard to lead an above average life. You both have ambitions, career goals and other desires to fulfil. What would you do if your partner suddenly says, ‘Hey, why don’t you start cooking? I can’t cook after coming home, and I don’t like what the cook prepares.’ You would probably regret the decision of marrying such a person. And then in a similar situation when one comes home later than the other, there is an understanding of not forcing the other to do something they might not want to indulge in a fatigued situation. That is called marriage and better roommates than forced ones.

It is hard to describe the facts and conditions every time to make people understand that even if you see those two people fighting like cats and dogs over the last piece of dark chocolate, you do not have any idea how much each one cares for the other. There isn’t a situation of I need to talk to him/her situation because you don’t have to think about this; instead, you can go and have a conversation any time. It is simple and satisfactory.

Who doesn’t love to be in their skin? Everyone right! Then why not choose a partner whom you can trust, love without any doubts, get mad as well without fears and be best-friends-forever. It is easier to discuss anything with a person; whom you place your utmost trust. Travel buddies, drinking partners, just strolling around partners, career discussion counsellors, and what not. You and your partner can play several roles in each other’s lives only if you have the comfort zone since the very start of your marriage. Needless to say that those who know each other beforehand argue and quarrel the most as well. But, it takes lesser time to think back and realise the other one’s emotions and mental state at that time to reconcile quickly. Ego is something that is always kept aside, and it should be like that if only, you want to have a peaceful home and an enjoyable time with your permanent roommate.

For some people marriage is a dilemma, for some, it is a lifetime enforced commitment, and for the others, it is a beautiful experience to live every day like they want to with the person who not only understands you but is always proud of you. That is what I call a healthy and an engaging relation, where you do not live as forced roommates but as happy and lively Married roommates.

PS: The view here is purely based on personal experience and observing surroundings. There is no intention to harm anyone’s feelings