“Say My Name, Say My Name” isn’t just the lyrics to a Destiny’s Child song, it speaks to a whole generation that is quite ironically NOT saying ‘my name.’
Have you ever noticed that, particularly in the age of social media, when someone wants to reach out to you the approach is this ….
“Hey,” “How are you?” “Where do you live?” Or, get this … “Hey beautiful, I’d really like to get to know you better.” Who exactly do you want to get to know better? Who are you asking about? Are you talking to me?
If you want to repel someone, I suggest you keep doing exactly what you’ve been doing, IF that is what you’ve been doing, and that is …. Not using someone’s name. Do you have any idea how impersonal that is?
Case-in-point. When, for example, you take the time to say “Happy Birthday” to someone on social media, that’s very sweet and thoughtful, however …. use their name: “Happy Birthday Amy (or Fred, Sam, Emily, etc).” Just saying Happy Birthday feels rather cold.
Think about it. Why bother replying when you’re really not sure if in fact that person is addressing you or a million other people with the same message. Again …. It is THAT impersonal.
If you’ve ever been in any kind of customer service training, one of the first things that they teach you is to say the person’s name. Over and over again. Until it’s memorable. And … you use it. Over and over again so that you make a connection.
Let me ask you this … How do you feel when someone refers to you by your name? In most cases, it feels really good, yes? There’s a connection happening. You feel more engaged, and you probably feel that you’re being heard.
When I’m introduced to someone I immediately, and in stealth mode, quietly remember their name by word association, or connect their name to a personality trait of theirs. This way I remember them. It’s important. And it’s very important to the other person.
Just the other day I received a message for someone who said; “How are you?” That’s it. Rather than; “Hi Amy, how are you?” It certainly doesn’t take any more effort to type a few extra words. A few extra magical, warm and fuzzy, wonderfully personal words. As a matter of fact, the “Hello Amy” is more powerful than the; “How are you?” Yes. Truth. You would have had me at “Amy.” Kidding aside. We can’t be THAT lazy where we’re completely devoid of any sense of being thoughtful.
Ironically, in a world where we may be feeling more disconnected and isolated, it would do us all a world of good if we connected more with one another by saying the magic word …. Our names.
The next time you’re sending a message, or meeting someone, think about how often you actually use or say the person’s name.
My name is Amy and I approve this message.