A Simple Conversation by Manali Debroy

It was a summer afternoon and I was just having a busy day at work, brainstorming for ideas. Sometimes, it is just the phase and sometimes you definitely need to roll up your sleeves. Neither was I a lazy lad nor a dumb head, then what was it that stood as a log of wood, driving a wedge between me and success. Sipping my coffee, I was still trying to find a solution to my inner squabbles. ‘Do you think you are failing?’ I turned back, but I could find no one in particular, talking to me. It was just the same old atmosphere of people glued to their white screens, pitting patting on the keyboards. ‘Maybe you are just overthinking?’ This time I did not turn my head, because these voices were my inner quests. So, when you find yourself at loggerheads with your own thoughts, then what do you do? My brain could only think of one simple solution, ‘Go for a walk and talk to yourself.’ Getting that fresh air probably sounds cliché, but a lot of times it helps you to lighten up a bit. Without thinking much, I got up from my seat and went out for some fresh air. But, when I was pressing my id card on the card reader, I halted for a second. ‘Wait a minute! I need my coffee mug. Ah! I again forgot it at my desk.’ As I was about to turn back and go to my desk, something pulled me back. I took around a turn, pressed my card against the card reader, and went out for a walk – all by myself. What made me turn my back towards my coffee mug? Well, let’s come back to this in some time.

While I was taking a walk outside, I came across many people. Some were discussing work related tensions with their friends or colleagues, while some were talking over the phone and the others were just taking a walk towards the food centre. But I noticed one thing, that no one was walking around purposeless like me and no one was alone. Eating, talking, buying something – whatever the activity might be, all were there with someone, or something. You cannot just walk out with your colleague and keep quiet the whole time right? So you are definitely talking something. But the question remains – are you scared to take a walk with your own self or have a conversation with yourself? I continued walking and was observing my surroundings. I thought to myself, it is really easy to talk to someone and let it out – your frustrations, your unhappiness, your problems, etc. But, it is difficult to actually just take some time out and talk to yourself. Either with a friend or a colleague or on a smartphone with someone on the other side, we all are busy. We all find comfort in talking to that one person, who is our confidante, soul mate, best friend, sibling or anyone you want to label them as. But why ignoring yourself? Why don’t we feel the need to take out sometime only to be in solitude and listen to your own inner questions, and answer them or may be just try to answer them? Why do we always feel the need for a shadow? Why do we forget that shadows do walk with us, but do they really give you any direction? After all, you are in the driver seat of your life and the best advice you can take is from your own self. No one knows you better than yourself and your wants are better understood only by you.

In vein of this, let us go back to my coffee mug, which kept waiting on my desk, but I did not come back to pick it up. I turned my back to the coffee mug because I felt this walk should only be with me and no one should accompany but my own self. Not a friend, not a colleague, not my phone or my coffee mug should be my shadow for this walk. I myself have to find that courage in me to go out and and talk to myself. That small fifteen minutes of walk with a simple rendezvous with myself, really helped me to clear my head. Success or failure is a different part, but the first and foremost is to be happy and content with what you are doing.

A conversation with a friend or your soul mate definitely helps you and gives you some comfort as well, but the only conversation that helps you to find answers are the simple ones – talking to your own self.