Rôle Parental II- Kids of Working Moms Grow Into Happy Adults

In earlier research, Kathleen McGinn and her colleagues discovered that adult kids of working moms were high achievers at work. Now it turns out they are happier too. Harvard Business School Professor, Kathleen McGinn hopes the findings bring a big sigh of relief for guilt-ridden mothers who either have to hold down a job to make ends meet or simply choose to work outside the home while raising their children.

This research suggests that all ‘working mothers’ including me should be proud of what we are doing rather than be guilty in any way about not giving time to our babies. Which evokes a memory about my baby’s days of swimming for under 5s; as I was always working or meeting up with family, she was expected to go by herself to the changing room, change and complete her training. A few days later, I still recall that evening vividly, she came back home and said, “Mom an aunty came up to me and asked me if there was an adult with me.” I asked my daughter back, “What did you reply?” “Aunty, my mama is very busy so I come alone and somebody comes to drop and pick me up.”

Upon hearing this; something in me moved and I experienced a peculiar thought that perhaps my toddler was feeling a bit lonely and a certain revelation dawned upon me that other mothers accompany all the other kids her age. So after a pause for a few minutes, while she was clearing up her swim bag, I asked her if I should leave my things and accompany her. To which she confidently replied by saying, “I can manage, Mama”.

There she was– all confident, responsible, and undaunted.

In my previous write up, I left a lot of questions marks in the minds of my readers and I was very pleased to receive lovely replies. Particularly of one reader who said,

“We need to make them fighters and also teach them how to protect themselves.”

So, the essence is in your parenting:

How much of trust you have put in them?
How much of freedom of thought do they have?
Do you value their decisions and help them to analyze the situation is right or wrong, good or bad?
What is the volume of responsibility they are ready to take?
Are you talking enough to them rather than complaining to them?

This brings me to an important point; children are not punching bags that you take out your aggression, anger, rage, resentment……..other negative emotions. Today as I look back on having worked all through my baby’s toddlerhood and childhood – I see her growing into a caring, loving adolescent girl who see her mother’s hard work, pains, failures and successes.