Venus is missing ~ Ravneet Sangha

It’s tough being a woman; everyone wants us to have all these characteristics rolled into one, imagine one hot body, and the men have all these checklists for just one of us. We are currently in the 21st century, on the cusp of being obliterated by a pandemic or global warming that we still do not want to take seriously. However, we are still worried about whether the girl is fair or dark or is wheatish in colour. Men are more worried about getting married to virgins but still want to be in relationships to be cool. So the ones you marry are from Mars, or the ones you are dating are from mars? Venus has such a problem.

I have come to know over a period of time that when they meet, they are worried more about whether you drink, the right answer being yes. They also ask questions like do you speak Punjabi ( for NRI girls )? Will you turn into a non-vegetarian after marriage?

Do you wear makeup, can you do housework? You will have to wear clothes Mama makes, or go to the tailor where she goes. It’s bizarre; men become proprietorial and patriarchal as if it is their right just because they were born with the right set of genitalia. You can’t just work because I say so; you can’t wear this because I say so.

How when what happens to men when they are in a relationship or are planning to get married? They want tall girls; why? Because she can clean the fans? Or this would help in betting taller babies!

How did we go back in time? Why are we not valuing women for their achievements? They are educated, smart, beautiful, sassy, confident, and pretty! When a girl offends or talks her mind, she is outspoken; when she is upset, she is PMSing even if she isn’t! They want girls with an Emma Watson figure, a Kylie Jenner figure, who is good at deen (religion ), a doctor too, can cook 800 different meals, and no ex-boyfriend.

And they have all these requests from us, but what are you bringing to the table? Yes, we live in a society where everything is skewed, differences are stark, and more than often, the pressures to be a perfect housewife, mixed with a siren at night juggling a job and the kids, in-laws and also not have any mood swings, plus being a fat cash cow bringing in dowry. This is a rant inspired by increasing frustrations faced by young women when they face the marriage mart; it’s as if we are dealing with cattle, and you know, funny enough, the female species are preferred there because of the milk they give.

The irony is that we are hailed as the mother of all kings, the giver of life, the sustainer, and the mother of all beings, but to prove ourselves again and again and to be perfect because of a set of standards set by some one centuries ago or artificially boosted by the marketing conglomerates to enhance and sell products. I know this isn’t going to end; it will still be an ugly sore and will carry on, but today a mother sent her daughter to me to study in the evening classes, and her name was Beauty. She’s enrolled in the village government school. That’s the confidence I want for the future!