I could have written this ages ago but probably I was waiting for my fate to take a turn and it obviously didn’t. So I am here sharing my grievances.
It all started years ago when I realised the names of every grain, cereals, spices and any food item that I was eating. I was in a phase of relishing every taste. As long as it was edible I could eat anything. But soon came that black day when a devil entered my life and ruined it all for me, “the clove man”.
You see ‘Cloves’ provide one of the most powerful flavours of all the world’s spices. These are rich, brown, dried, unopened flower buds of Syzygium aromaticum, an evergreen tree in the myrtle family.
This was Google bhaisahab. For what I know since they didn’t bloom themselves they want that revenge from me though we aren’t even related.
Yeah yeah, I know your brain must be scanning for its health benefits making you wonder why am I ranting about it. The main problem is with its taste which is pungent, strong with a bitter & astringent flavour as well. It also has a distinct and undeniable warmth which on consumption leaves a sensation in the mouth similar to that of a nutmeg.
You still don’t get my point, do you?
Well imagine this, you are eating the best Samosa or your favourite Rajma-Chawal or that finger licking Tandoori chicken. Also, remember when you had that delicious Shahi Paneer which was so soft & juicy and BAMN!!
There is a ‘clove’ in your mouth!
How do you feel now?
Unhappy? Nasty? Angry?
Exactly! Now you finally get my point, right!
The catch here is that for a normal person like you this must be a rare occasion but to me, it happens on a regular basis in every meal. No matter how much my lady tried to check my food plate before it’s served to me. Somehow the devil managed to be chewed between my teeth.
Adding to the horror, whenever we went over for gatherings I literally asked the host to allow me to talk to the chef and make the person recall on how many pieces of cloves have been added to the respective meals. I was heartbroken when this started happening at restaurants too.
Yesterday I was with my grandparents having tasty chat-papdi, raj-kachori etc which we’d got from the famous Haldirams. They keep every single item in different packets and you are supposed to do the dressing at home accordingly. I did everything on my own and please believe me I have no clue how that half piece of a clove came out of the potato which was in my plate only. It made me furiously red!
I screamed why me, why?
To my utter surprise, my grandmother solved the mystery in just one line- “Arey, it means you are going to be married to a tall, dark, handsome man and when it happens this will stop. It’s just a sign.”
They say don’t let small problems turn into big ones but after listening to this, I guess it’s going to become a much bigger problem.
Don’t you dare laugh, I am still appalled by her reply.
Huh..why do my relatives feel if I’m not married soon I would die alone?
P.S. Just before leaving the house, I asked my grandmother will that tall dark man have four heads too? She just laughed.
Yet I am wondering where my clove man is. I hope to find him with just one head & that will be a bliss.
Scratching my own head till his arrival -Auldrin