15 years ago, I was blessed with the most beautiful title “Mother” and once a mother, always a mother. So what is the recipe for good motherhood is a thought that had bothered me at the time but I moved on convinced that the little one will teach me. To my surprise after 15 years I can say, she taught me how to take care of her.
As a parent, I was always worried about her health, her safety and her needs. As she was growing up; it was further apparent that she can take care of herself and me. What really matters is – the grooming a child gets from the first day of birth. I was as naïve as any other mother to make choices between do’s and don’ts, right and wrong, needed vs wasted and the list goes on.
Recently, psychologists and parenting specialists have been talking about the new parenting term PIW – Parent Induced Wastefulness.
In my opinion; that is a term less suited to our parent’s generation; wherein they felt that protecting the child from all odds was the best thing for the child. But if we consider our generation (parents in their 30’s and 40’s), we are the much more conscious. I come to this conclusion as it is in our time period when technology and advancement have taken a 360-degree swirl. We all largely brought up our kids by getting them to do their basic tasks – putting their toys away, putting their crayons away, putting their clothes in the laundry bag, cleaning the dirty area after spilling the food …… and so the list goes on.
While children get used to doing all of these tasks, they develop a pattern, making them better decision makers. They have to decide and do things as they deem fit. Likewise, an exposure to technology has made them the most intelligent, responsible and stimulated human beings. This is a generation, which beats their own scores and their own grades. They do not believe in competing with others but with themselves. They believe in the principles of oneness, kindness, empathy rather than sympathy.
So the term PIW is somewhat referring to our generation where we run from our roles, duties and responsibilities. We are the generation of the sufferers because our parents controlled us a lot, made us do what they wanted to, technology boomed so we were struggling to compete with it. Result failure.
When I look around, I see my peers who have failed to fulfil their dreams, their aspirations, who are being crushed between what needs to be done vs what should be done. Our younger generation wants to hold us and walk with us. They are okay to accept our success and failures not ashamed. They are sensitive and empathize with us. They are more liberal in their thoughts. They have questions such as were never thought by other social institutions in human history. But we are pressuring them, doubting them not giving them space to breathe.
This is Amita’s first article on the topic of Parenting…watch this space for more. Make sure you subscribe to The Post.