I’m going to preface this by saying, for me, being healthy, fit and energetic has me thinking that there’s something to be said for getting older. Don’t get me wrong, if I were able to gather all of my life experiences and wisdom and not age, I would. However, that’s not available to us (yet).
One thing I’ve realized is that most of us underestimate ourselves. Part of our self-discovery, learning and growing comes from what we’re gathering along the way. Lifelong learners, life hacking, whatever you want to call it.
Some choose to stay stagnant with a fixed mindset while others flourish with a growth mindset. It’s a learned behaviour. A choice.
I believe the combination of; our fear of missing out, a great marketing spin, and our insecurities or imposter syndrome is a deadly combination for us feeling inadequate. This is exactly how the ‘influencer’ movement evolved – to feed our inadequacies. Not all, but certainly those influencers that are in it to win it, you know, the ones that make the big bucks selling us stuff. Are influencers like these really looking out for our best interest? Of course not. They exist to push stuff. Lots of stuff. Stuff that we don’t need.
On the flip side however, those influencers that share their experiences and expertise, in fact, are in all of us – each and every one of us are influencers in one way or another. Just like the Faberge Shampoo commercial that said; “And they told two friends, and so on, and so on, and so, on.” We have the ability to express and share things that we find helpful. And we want to tell others about it.
So why then do we gravitate and or find that we need gurus in our lives? Have you ever looked to yourself first as the one that ‘already knows?’ Because you probably do. No one knows you better than yourself. No one. Sure, people say things like; “I know you better than you know yourself.” I’ve actually found myself saying those exact same words to my twin brother. But, in fact, I don’t know him better then he knows himself. Truly, I don’t.
Could it be the mere fact that it’s a little scary to dive into who we are so that we can better understand ourselves? I bet if we all took the time to dive into the deep end, we’d come up for air realizing that we know many of the answers already. ‘Wanting’ to know is a whole other article – which I’ll write about.
We spend time and money, probably a lot, on self-improvement. We don’t need fixing. What we need is to trust ourselves more. We must know that if we’re a miserable human being that our behaviour is going to reflect that. We must know that if we give love, we’ll receive love. We must know that we as human beings are complicated. We don’t have all the answers, not even close, and yet we should start with ourselves first rather than searching for things (yes ‘things’) outside of us.
If we go looking for “Need this? – We’ve got it” then we’ll find it anywhere and everywhere. We’ll find that person, words, books, courses, masterclasses, potions and lotions to fit our needs – consider this – look to your needs first. Look to what you truly already know before you continue to be disappointed and or trapped in a cycle of ‘you’re not good enough, and here’s why’ – because, again, it’s everywhere.
Am I shooting myself in the foot by saying this? After all part of the work that I do is as an action & growth strategist and coach helping people better define their strengths so they can thrive. No, I think not. I’m not here to suggest that you don’t have it altogether. I’m guiding you toward what you already know, and already have. I’m building upon your strengths.
When you’re questioning all the things that you don’t know – start by asking yourself what you already know and grow from there. Because …
You (do) already know. Trust THAT. And if you don’t – ask yourself again before you seek out further answers elsewhere.